MamaManagement

This is not a To Do List. This is a Cosmic Book of Hopes and Dreams and Deeper Whys. (Sculpture by David Kracov) I've spent the last week or so in a heightened state of anxiety. It has not been fun. I tried blaming in on the move and all the extra stuff there is to do with the house and the life. I've spent more than four hours at the DMV in the last week and I still have to go back one more time. That's reason enough for anxiety, right? But then, last night, (after having a mini anxiety attack) I remembered what my last therapist said to me around this same time last year. Amy, this is your stress time. Every year, the activities and responsibilities ramp up in October, hit a frenzied peak in mid December, and then slowly descend back to normal by New Years. And every year your anxiety follows the same path. This happens every year for me since I had kids. Every. Damn. Year. And every year I am surprised by it (Every. Damn. Year.) and try to shove it down and p...

I have not shown up here on MamaManagement in many months. There are lots of reasons I could list as to why. But, I think the core of it is that I haven't had much to say. We've had a lot of "stuff" going on...all of which revolves around us moving from Pennsylvania to Illinois in August. Plus, for a while there, back in Spring and early summer, I was working hard on book revisions (decidedly NOT the case now. Sigh.). But mainly, I've just been really self-absorbed lately. Both in good ways and in bad. Truth be told, I've been a bit of a hermit these last few months. Much of my reclusiveness was born out of prepping for the move and then moving. Moving a family from one state to another is a full time job. And it's stressful. It throws your family's entire life off its rhythm. And, in my case, it also throws your mind, body, and spirit off-rhythm. My mind has had so much on it that it no longer works properly. Information flows in and out lik...

This post is as much for me as it is for you. I am just beginning my journey into the land of Body Positivity and #BellyLove is my next big step. As many of you saw in my last post about diet culture, I've recently been inspired by a #BodyPositivity movement that came to my attention through Instagram. This movement is all about loving our bodies just as they are, in whatever shape they are in. It's about ditching the pervasive diet culture and body shaming, and seeing the beauty in every body...especially our own. This Body Positivity movement is connected to another movement called # HealthatEverySize . Which focuses on being healthy and doing the best for your body regardless of what size you are. Not worrying about what the scale says or whether of not you have washboard abs and a thigh gap, and instead focusing on eating foods that make your body feel good and doing movement that promotes good mental and physical health AND feels good...without caring at all abo...

I have subscribed to the pervasive diet culture that exists in the United States for my entire adolescent and adult life. As a one hundred and fifteen pound teenager, I believed myself fat. My body, though I see now in the rearview mirror of age, was beautiful even by society's standards, became a loathsome enemy very early on. I compared myself to magazines and movies and friends. Everyone was always thinner and more beautiful. Everyone had clearer skin and a skinnier waist and thinner thighs. I was an attractive enough girl...and then woman. I wasn't "ugly" per se, but I was less than. Within each decade of my life, there seemed to be some magical (and unattainable) number on the scale that held the holy grail of "enough". If I could just get to that number...120, 125, 130, 135...then everything would be great. I'd be thin enough, pretty enough, fashionable enough... I'd be enough. As I got older, especially once I had kids, that "...

So much... When I have a low day (or days) that appears, seemingly, for no reason whatsoever (as in: nothing has happened, nothing is "wrong"), I have a really hard time accepting it as normal. It is, you know. Normal. To have a blue mood every once in a while. To be "in a funk." I'm not talking about depression. I'm talking about a day or two, maybe a week, when you just feel...blah. Life has lost its shimmer and shine. Maybe you have lost your shimmer and shine, too...temporarily. That's me today...okay, this week, really. And I feel equal parts mad about it and guilty for it. I don't want to feel blue. It's dumb. There's no reason for it. Nothing is wrong beyond the fact that it's February in Pennsylvania. But "the funk" doesn't care what I want. The funk will be, if it chooses to be. The funk will have its way...and that makes me mad. I also feel an undercurrent of guilt. What right do I have to be blue? ...

From an art class I took last summer. This ended up being the background for all the mini-paintings I did this fall. Today I'm here to urge you to take a class . I know you're super busy. I know there are already too many things crammed into your day. I know you've got work and home and kids and spouse and workouts and family and friends and general life stuff all vying for your attention and time. And the last thing you want to do is add something else into the mix. But I don't care. I still think you should take a class. I don't really care what kind of class you take. It can be one that gets you further in your career. It can be one that introduces you to a new hobby. It can be one that you've always wanted to take. It can help you learn a new sport. (Tennis, anyone?) It can be online. It can be through your community rec center. It can be at a local college. What and where it is doesn't really matter all that much, as long as it's somet...

I always spend time at the beginning of each year thinking about the year ahead of me. I have this notebook in which I've been writing thoughts and dreams and goals and ideas for years. I pull this notebook out and I look at it. I flip through the pages and soak in all of the aspiration and energy that radiates off the paper. It's like taking a bath in optimist soup! Then I focus in on what I wrote last year. What was I brainstorming about? What was I trying to do? And what of that did I accomplish? When I've done all of that, I usually start brainstorming around the new year. In the past I've even come up with a theme for the new year and centered my goals around that theme. But this year was a little different. First of all, now that writing has become more of a job than a hobby for me, I create two separate lists: one of writing goals and one of life goals. Like anyone with a career, you're likely to have work goals and personal goals. For me, those ...