MamaManagement

So much... When I have a low day (or days) that appears, seemingly, for no reason whatsoever (as in: nothing has happened, nothing is "wrong"), I have a really hard time accepting it as normal. It is, you know. Normal. To have a blue mood every once in a while. To be "in a funk." I'm not talking about depression. I'm talking about a day or two, maybe a week, when you just feel...blah. Life has lost its shimmer and shine. Maybe you have lost your shimmer and shine, too...temporarily. That's me today...okay, this week, really. And I feel equal parts mad about it and guilty for it. I don't want to feel blue. It's dumb. There's no reason for it. Nothing is wrong beyond the fact that it's February in Pennsylvania. But "the funk" doesn't care what I want. The funk will be, if it chooses to be. The funk will have its way...and that makes me mad. I also feel an undercurrent of guilt. What right do I have to be blue? ...

It is January 28th and I am in full-blown winter funk. Every year I forget how much I detest January and February. And every year, after the brief glow of the new year has worn off, I wander around in a half-asleep haze wondering why I feel so blah. And then I remember...Oh, right, it's January. The days are short and cold. Everyday looks just like the next. I'm now slugging through the routine that seemed a refreshing, new structure back in September. It's all  I've been working on the railroad all the live-long day ... The kids and I are going stir-crazy. Okay, well, it's mostly me. The only breaks from the routine are snow days--one is good, two is too many-- and I spend the whole time wishing they were sand days. Can you imagine waking up one morning around February 1st to a school alert on your cell that reads SAND DAY! Imagine looking out your window to find piles of warm sand, sunshine and lapping waves...and, if we're going to go with t...