When I think "Mid-Life Crisis," I think of a 45 year old man with a new, younger wife and a sports car...for some reason, in my head, he's a dentist...because that is what my culture has taught me a mid-life is. But that's not it.
When I think "Quarter-Life Crisis," I think of John Mayer's song...cuz we went through that shit together, man. Me and John. We was tight in our twenties.
Personally, I have existential crises. Which is the same thing as mid-life and quarter-life crises, but I have them, like, once every year or two, so they're not tied to age or stage.
I assume other people experience this too-- these moments of questioning whether our lives have purpose, meaning, and value-- since there's a term for it. Right?
Do you?
I wonder...How often do others question their life's purpose and their reason for being? Are you looking for meaning and purpose on the regular? Are there people out there who are stable and comfortable in their reason for being? Like, they've figured it out and are confident that they are living their purpose, so it's no longer a question? Are there people who just know their days are filled with meaning so there's no need to question those things anymore?
If you're out there, can you tell me how you do it?
I imagine anyone in "helping careers" feels this way. Like healthcare workers, teachers, social workers, anyone who works for a charity or pet rescue, etc...those jobs come with an automatic knowing the you're doing something good with your time and energy. You're making a difference in the world, regardless of what you do with the rest of your time.
There are parts of my life that I am confident in--my kids, my husband, my family. I know that part of my purpose is my people. But what about the rest of it?
I spent the better part of yesterday running around-- running errands, taking kids places, getting things done around the house, meeting with people who are doing work on our house. By 5pm I was crabby and tired, so I took some time for myself. I meditated, worked out, ate, went for a walk, showered...and I felt better. But I didn't feel better about my day. It seemed like such a waste.
So I journaled for an hour about what I'm doing with my life and whether or not it has meaning, whether or not I should keep doing what I'm doing or change my path again. And I didn't really get to any answers. My questions just led to more questions and my answers just led me in a circle right back to where I'd started. So I'm bringing my questions to you all.
Tell me, what are your thoughts on the meaning of life and living your life's purpose? How do you look at how you spend your time each day versus what it means to live a full life, a life of meaning?
Is it more important to "get a real job" that somehow contributes to society and is in an interest area of yours (for me this might be working at a library, teaching or tutoring in some way, or working with a pet rescue), OR to continue going after a dream that may never become a reality?
In case you're new around here, I am an as-yet-unpublished writer. I write middle grade and young adult books that have yet to be published. And I put a fair amount of time and energy into these projects. Think of it as a part-time job level commitment within my days.
I've always wanted to be a writer, but I've never had any actual "achievements" in writing. (I'm good, but I'm not quite sure that I'm "good enough.") I have a purpose behind my writing, but that purpose cannot be realized unless people read my work.
I want to connect with people through my writing. I want them to be entertained, but I also want them to feel less alone. I want them to feel understood, like someone else out there in the universe is going through what they're going through, feeling what they're feeling. Someone else gets it...and gets them.
But I can't connect with people like that if they never have a chance to read what I write. So, at what point do you say, this approach to my goal isn't working. Maybe I should try another way. Maybe I should work at a library and help connect people to other authors' books that may speak to them. Maybe I should go try to help animals find forever homes, since I'm not allowed to just adopt them all myself.
Which path makes the most sense for me?
I don't know the answer, but I think I'm seeking from you assurance that I'm not alone in questioning these things. Do you have your own version of these kinds of questions? Do you wonder about your path? Do you question how you spend your time and whether or not it's worth the days and hours of our short time here on earth?
Do you ever pause while playing a game on your phone and think, what will I think about spending my time this way when I'm on my deathbed?
Is this too much for a stupid little blog post?
Comment. Message me. Tell me I'm not alone in this. Share with me your wisdom. And if you're one of those unicorns that's got it figured out (as much as it can be...as much as it makes you feel comfortable in your days, weeks, and months), tell me your secrets.
Connect with me in that way I want to connect with others through my writing.
Tell me I'm not the only one living in existential crisis land.
Until next time, keep living your purpose, whatever that purpose may be.
Namaste.
Comments
Post a Comment