Note to Self

Over the years I have become a master in the art of notes. I make notes to myself in my phone, on sticky notes, in my calendar, on long lists, in writing notebooks and planning notebooks, and in my head. I leave notes for my kids in their lunch boxes. I write notes in cards and emails and text messages to my family and friends. I send reminder notes and favor notes and random thoughts to my husband when he's at work.

I have note pads and note books and note apps galore. Lots of places and spaces to make notes to myself. Do this. Do that. Don't forget this. Remember that. And I love them. They give me a certain sense of security. They assuage my anxiety. Or, at least I thought they did. I mean, they did...until they didn't.

Somewhere along the line my note making went from being a helpful habit to being something more akin to an addiction. But, as far as I know, there's no twelve step program for note making. So, I'm on my own with this one.

Over the last few months I've started trying to curb my note-making addiction-- the writing and rewriting of to dos and ideas and whatnot. When I have the urge to write something down or make a note in my phone, I stop and ask myself, Do I really need to write this down? Is it already written down somewhere else? Is this something I'll remember to do on my own? 

Appointments I write down. Reminders for things related to the kids' activities or school, I write down. But most of the other stuff, if I'm honest, I probably don't need to write down. And I certainly don't need to have it noted in my phone and in my calendar and on a sticky note.

I'm so worried about letting something fall through the cracks, that I write it all down so that everything gets covered. But, guess what? Things still fall through the cracks. And it often doesn't make me feel better to write it down, it just makes me think about all the things there are to do. So, I'm trying to stop.

You would not believe how hard it is to stop making lists.

It's, like, crazy hard. Harder than stopping snacking in the evening. Harder than getting back into an exercise routine after time off. Harder than...well, you get the picture.

Then I heard this song called Note to Self by Ben Rector, and it made me look at my notes to myself in a different way. What if I used them to remind me of the important things instead of the seemingly urgent things? (You know, use my powers for good rather than evil.)

The song starts off with things you might find on a typical to do list:
- Clean the living room.
- Fold the laundry.
- Exercise.

But then it moves to a different kind of to do list:
- Don't worry so much.
- Think of other people more.
- Keep choosing your significant other.
- Call your mother.

This inspired me to consider a new goal for 2019. To only write notes to myself like this...
- Remember to stop and look around.
- Breathe.
- Go for a walk in the fresh air.
- Call a friend.
- Do one thing at a time.
- Savor each bite.
- Give more.
- Tell yourself your beautiful.
- Smile.
- Cuddle with the kids.

I'm trying to start this now, but it's hard for me. Tis the season for waking up with a to do list running through my brain. But each day I try again. And again. And again.

To change the meaning of making a Note to Self...consider that goal number one for 2019.

Until next time, make a note to yourself that has nothing to do with your seemingly never-ending to do list. And then follow through on it.



P.S. Here's a link to Ben Rector's song, in case you want to hear it yourself: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kdjmie7KPrU