I just read this Instagram post by Glennon Doyle that shows a photo of a woman walking her dog from a golf cart. Glennon had named this woman the "VP of the #OOF Club" (that's "Out of Fucks to Give Club") for "carrying a bucket of coffee the size of Florida and finding a way to beat the dog walking system at its own game-- driving 1 mile per hour in front of me and not even considering pulling over or speeding up for me." Glennon wasn't mad; she goes on to say, "HERE'S TO WOMEN WHO REST WHEN WE'RE TIRED."
(And we're tired.)
This made me think of the notes I put in the kids lunch boxes today. For the last 8 months I have written a fun joke and a note to each of my kids and put them in their lunches pretty much every day. These notes are on colorful, cute-shaped sticky notes; they are written in multi-colored pens; they are usually done the night before.
This morning I scribbled I <3 U on a sticky and tossed it in.
This then made me think of the meme or video or something I saw recently showing a mom just sticking a hunk of cheese into her kid's lunch box and calling it a day. Which then made me think of the meme from Jen Hatmaker I saw yesterday that said, "We were awesome back in October; don't forget that."
Which all makes me think that I am not the only one that is just done...with all of it. I know that when August rolls around I will be craving routine and days without the kids all up in my business; but right now, I am done with it all...the early-rising, the lunch making, the rushing, the spelling words and rocket math practice, the after-school activities, the dinner making, the bed-time routine...ALL THE ROUTINES! And all of the obligations and schedules and planning and time-figure-outing.
So, of course, right when we hit this point of DONENESS, that's when the schedule gets the craziest of all...I'll take you're already busy schedule and throw in multiple t-ball games a week, and prep for dance and music recitals, and school concerts, and school field trips, and scouts field trips, and end of year parties, and Saturday activities, and birthday parties, and...ACK! I can't even.
And just when I CAN'T EVEN...let's throw in SUMMER SCHEDULING!
I'm sorry, but when did this become a thing? When did scheduling summer activities, lessons, camps and trips WAY IN ADVANCE become such a stressful, logistical nightmare???
I'm so stressed by the prospect of actually doing the summer planning-- figuring it all out and committing to everything-- that I just keep putting off doing it. Figuring out when we're traveling is enough to make me want to stay home; then add swim lessons and cool camps and camps to go to the same weeks friends are going... My brain feels like it's going to explode.
I thought about just not signing up for anything and not planning any trips; but this, as it turns out, is more of a delayed punishment for me than anything else. (Delayed punishment is like delayed gratification, but not as much fun.) If I want to be able to work or have a break at all this summer, my kids need to do some camps. And I don't want them to drown, so swim lessons are pretty important. And everything has to be signed up for WAY in advance. Plus trips to see family and just get away are a must...and make sure not to double-book anything! So?
So, here I am, staring at the summer calendar and the list of activities...and they're staring back at me, demanding to be figured-out. I empty the dishwasher and come back. They're still there. I make the beds. Still there. I do yoga. Still there. I check email. Still. There.
Fuck! Leave me alone!
Still there.
Sigh. If anyone needs me I'll be in my padded cell plotting a calendar.
Until next time...oh, I don't know. It's May, I'm all out of fucks to give.
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